The Lost Boys: The Tribe

So, I finally decided to torture myself by watching The Lost Boys straight to DVD release sequel: The Tribe. It was, as I expected, disappointing. The movie does little more than parody the original, and sometimes, not even in a tongue-in-cheek way. In a actually-we're-serious-we-

thought-we-could-do-the-exact-same-thing way. The plot is essentially the same as the first movie, with some fun gender twists. Older brother, younger sister. Younger sister starts to turn into a vampire. (Not older brother, like in the original. See, this is different.) No grandfather. Instead, an elderly aunt. No Kiefer Sutherland. Instead, Angus Sutherland, his half-brother, playing essentially the same role. (Actually, Angus is smoking hot. So what he can't act his way out of a paper bag? I could watch scenes of him on mute and be kind of happy). Furthermore, the older brother is so sincerely a Jason Patric lookalike.

The ending is anti-climatic and predictable. Sorry--no head vampire twist this time. Actually, that was another difference between this movie and the original. The mystery element--totally gone. Futhermore, the movie trades the anguish of burgeoning teenage sexuality as metaphor for monstrousness (one of the best things about the first film) for cheap, soft-core moments. Everyone in the movie seems to think that the first thing you do with someone you meet and find attractive is jump into bed with them after knowing them for five minutes.

There are a couple good things, in case you're a diehard Lost Boys fan and will watch this movie no matter what (like me.) So, fear not, it's not a total waste of your time. For one thing, Corey Feldman is awesome, reprising his Edgar Frog role. Honestly, you can hardly tell he's twenty years older, except for the fact he's a little taller and his voice is deeper. He's fun. There's a Tom Savini cameo, complete with some intestine-eating--totally played for laughs. There's an oiled, shirtless fat dude playing the saxophone on a street corner. And there are two moments in the film, where the parody rises above itself to almost become what I'd call a shot-for-shot homage that is so similar to the original, it's still visually stunning. (Actually, the look of the movie isn't half bad. It's no Schumaker film, but, well, what is?) Or maybe it's just that damned "Cry, Little Sister" song. Even a cover gives me chills. Great fucking song!!!

Argh. Why can't they let me write the scripts to these movies??